Archive for the ‘Communication’
What You Say to Children Really Does Matter
Have you ever spoken unkindly to someone? Did the words profoundly affect that person? Words are powerful; and when they are used to hurt someone, they can be devastating. The words you speak and the things you say do have a huge affect not only on yourself, but others as well. Yes, what you say really does matter.
Have you ever called yourself stupid, dumb, idiot? Have you berated yourself in front of the mirror because you feel fat? Do you realize every word you say is being processed by your subconscious and, in some cases, imbeds itself there? Thus, it begins to seep into your conscious self and the feelings of self-worth begin to dissipate.
What you say ultimately translates into eventual belief. If you utter to yourself, “I’m not very good at soccer,” you will never succeed in that sport. You are setting up a defeatist attitude even before you begin. When you begin a thought or a sentence with a negative word, your expectations can never be realized.
So too, you may call someone an idiot. While you may apologize, the word has already been spoken; you can’t take it back. The person on the receiving end of the insult may take it to heart, and can be changed forever. We live in a world where words are used to attack, cajole, embrace, nurture, disengage, provoke and inspire. We not only hurt ourselves, we hurt others as well. Anger, frustration, and disappointment contribute to the misuse of words. Even though the aftermath of unkind words are realized, we still do it. Perhaps the old adage is true, “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.”
It is important to realize the affect words have on us. Whether we mean to say them or not, said often enough they can transform the very essence of who we are. Children are especially vulnerable to words. Yet, we continue to use unkind and often insensitive words as a disciplinary measure. Eventually, they grow up with low self-esteem, or painfully shy, or feel they are worth anything at all.
The next time you speak, think about the words you are about to impart. Choose them wisely when speaking to your peers, and cautiously when speaking to children. Understand that one word can positively or negatively affect someone’s life; even your own.
Help Baby Communicate Through Sign Language
One of the newest trends in parenting is baby sign language. People in the deaf community have known for years that babies could communicate through sign long before their vocal cords allow them to speak, but the trend didn’t really catch on because of the false assumption that signing led to later verbal language development. We now know that not only does signing not keep a baby from talking; it actually helps them to start talking sooner and have better language skills.
By using sign, children learn how to express themselves with words, and some will even start to put words together in sentences before they turn one. Sign is also great for relieving some of the frustration you and your child face because they can tell you exactly what they want. This is especially helpful if your child is ill. Imagine a child under a year being able to tell you not only that they’re in pain, but where it hurts.
Before you start teaching your baby to sign, you should decide what signs to use. While the logical choice would be American Sign Language, some people discourage this because the signs are too complicated for developing hands and fingers. If you want to use simpler signs, there are books and videos with signs that are easier for babies to perform. Or you can make up your own signs, whatever works best for you. Just be careful with non-ASL signs. Some parent’s have unknowingly taught their children to use offensive language and been very embarrassed later on. Even if you use a sign from a baby sign book, that doesn’t mean you’re safe. It’s best to check with someone who knows ASL before teaching a new sign to your child.
Once you’ve decided what signs you are going to use, you need to take the time to learn them. If you do decide to use ASL, there are many resources online to learn from. Not only are their online ASL dictionaries; there are also specific resources that include only signs babies will need. They even have videos so you know you’re doing them right. To learn the signs, you may want to start using them even before your child is ready. This way you’ll be in practice when they are. The important part is to be consistent. Once you choose a sign, stick with it. And use it whenever the baby is in the room. That way, they think it is a normal part of communication.
Teaching a child sign language takes a little time, but is fairly simple. If you use hand signs, you can start around 7 to 8 months; however signs involving the lips and tongue can be taught starting at birth. You can teach your child to stick out their tongue for pacifier, or purse their lips if they want milk. To teach a sign, simply make the sign or facial expression every time you use a word. To keep your child from getting confused, teach them one word at a time. Once they’re successfully using that word, add another. Since this process might go slowly, teach them the most important words first, like: milk, wet (diaper), and ow (pain). These will also be the most useful words to you.
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